http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fa%27afafine
After class this week I decided to look up the Island that was briefly mentioned in which it is normal and accepted for children to start out as females but to develop their male bodies and hormones later. I came upon this Wikipedia page that details the 3rd gender of Samoans, Fa'afafine. These are people who were male at birth, but loved playing with feminine toys and gravitated to much more stereotypical feminine activities as children, and had mostly female friends. However, as they got older they realized that they are of the 3rd gender and are neither female nor male. This has become so accepted in that society that they reject the ideas of homosexuality and transgender.
The most interesting thing to me was how the parents and society as a whole responded to this group of people, making it completely normal. Parents rarely discourage their male children from engaging in feminine activities, because it would be totally acceptable for the child to be Fa'afafine. In fact, most Samoans have at least one Fa'afafine friend.
This make me think about how our society views this type of behavior, with children acting outside of their gender stereotypes. The fact that we feel the need to label it as abnormal and dysfunctional says a lot about how little our society can tolerate. It also is evidence that gender is a social construct, which is something I believe.
In relating this back to therapy, this week's readings on cultural sensitivity and the readings we did on LGBTQ are that much more important. The most important point that I take away from all of these readings is not to make assumptions, and to ask about something if you are not sure and don't want to offend anyone. People come from all different types of societies that could be totally opposite from everything we have been taught, so it is that much more important to try to understand where they are coming from even if we don't personally believe in it or subscribe to those values.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Body Image
This week's reading made me think about how important it is to address body image concerns in the context of sexuality. Nearly all people have had body image concerns at some point in their lives, and it is very easy to imagine those concerns being carried over into the bedroom, during one of the most intimate, sensitive, and personal moments of a person's life. I think the reason this section stuck out to me more than any other we have read is for two reasons. First, it is something that everyone can relate to on some level. Second, body image concerns are often one of the underlying causes that present as another sexual issue, such as low desire or erectile dysfunction.
I noticed that most of the facts and assumptions about body image issues listed in the book matched up with criteria for anxiety. If I were to treat someone with body image concerns who was not presenting it as a sexual problem, I would likely use treatment methods for anxiety and self-esteem. The fact that this is a sexual issue tells me that there should be more of a relational component to treatment, but that ultimately treatment should be focused on the same themes.
This makes me think about the idea of self-differentiation in a relationship, and I would almost be more inclined to treat such a person alone rather than as a couple. My reasoning for this is because a body image issue is likely stemming from skewed beliefs about beauty and appearance, or from a lack of self-esteem and confidence. These are things a person should be able to learn about and adjust to on his/her own without using the partner as a crutch for other-validated intimacy. When we read earlier in the year from the sex crucible, we learned about the value of knowing oneself and being able to be happy and validated from within rather than from someone else's opinion or words. I think that this connects to the idea of body image because people who have issues being comfortable with sex due to body image concerns are likely unable to validate themselves from within, and therefore are overly concerned with how they look, either comparing themselves to those they have seen in the media or a perceived relationship threat.
I noticed that most of the facts and assumptions about body image issues listed in the book matched up with criteria for anxiety. If I were to treat someone with body image concerns who was not presenting it as a sexual problem, I would likely use treatment methods for anxiety and self-esteem. The fact that this is a sexual issue tells me that there should be more of a relational component to treatment, but that ultimately treatment should be focused on the same themes.
This makes me think about the idea of self-differentiation in a relationship, and I would almost be more inclined to treat such a person alone rather than as a couple. My reasoning for this is because a body image issue is likely stemming from skewed beliefs about beauty and appearance, or from a lack of self-esteem and confidence. These are things a person should be able to learn about and adjust to on his/her own without using the partner as a crutch for other-validated intimacy. When we read earlier in the year from the sex crucible, we learned about the value of knowing oneself and being able to be happy and validated from within rather than from someone else's opinion or words. I think that this connects to the idea of body image because people who have issues being comfortable with sex due to body image concerns are likely unable to validate themselves from within, and therefore are overly concerned with how they look, either comparing themselves to those they have seen in the media or a perceived relationship threat.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Adolescents and sexuality
This week I had the opportunity to interview a member of my family about her beliefs and attitudes about sexuality, and the main point she emphasized most was how much she wished children had more and better education about it. I was thrilled to see that the chapters we were assigned to read for this week included information about teens and younger peoples sexuality, and made a point about how previous research and prevention programs do not adequately study this topic. I have been thinking more about how children are taught about sexuality since doing the interview, and I think the most important thing missing is a balance of information. Children and teens need to be informed about the good and the bad parts of sex, and to be prepared for any and all scenarios that could arise.
Another thing I have been thinking about following the interview and readings for this week are the gender differences in how children and teens are taught about sexuality and how they ought to be taught about it. Seeing as so many people have so any varieties of sexual difficulties that often begin in adolescence, it is clear to me that a better sexual education would be the first step in remedying this problem.
An issue that was brought up in the chapter is that an undesirable sexual experience at a young age might cause someone to be less willing to participate in similar types of sexual experiences in the future. However, I think that with effective sexual education including body image, positive and negative parts of sex, and normative sex practices, younger people would be less likely to develop fears and pathological behaviors surrounding sex.
Another issue that was mentioned in the chapter is that adolescents are expected to not achieve orgasm and to not function sexually like adults, so they are not generally diagnosed with sexual dysfunctions. This could be a problem if an adolescent actually does meet criteria for a dysfunction that will only become worse, but therapists and doctors turn the patient away due to age and assumptions about normative sex practices and desires. As a newer therapist, I would be less likely to pathologise for anyone to eliminate this problem, and would only consider a diagnosis it was something that would help the client. I would try to treat an adolescent with sexual difficulties like I would an adult with similar issues, but would try to do more educational work to supplement what the sexual education systems are lacking.
Another thing I have been thinking about following the interview and readings for this week are the gender differences in how children and teens are taught about sexuality and how they ought to be taught about it. Seeing as so many people have so any varieties of sexual difficulties that often begin in adolescence, it is clear to me that a better sexual education would be the first step in remedying this problem.
An issue that was brought up in the chapter is that an undesirable sexual experience at a young age might cause someone to be less willing to participate in similar types of sexual experiences in the future. However, I think that with effective sexual education including body image, positive and negative parts of sex, and normative sex practices, younger people would be less likely to develop fears and pathological behaviors surrounding sex.
Another issue that was mentioned in the chapter is that adolescents are expected to not achieve orgasm and to not function sexually like adults, so they are not generally diagnosed with sexual dysfunctions. This could be a problem if an adolescent actually does meet criteria for a dysfunction that will only become worse, but therapists and doctors turn the patient away due to age and assumptions about normative sex practices and desires. As a newer therapist, I would be less likely to pathologise for anyone to eliminate this problem, and would only consider a diagnosis it was something that would help the client. I would try to treat an adolescent with sexual difficulties like I would an adult with similar issues, but would try to do more educational work to supplement what the sexual education systems are lacking.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Pedophiles VS. Child Molesters
The most important thing I learned from this past presentation is that pedophiles and child molesters are not the same thing. In fact, pedophiles and child molesters are often confused but have a main difference in reality, which is that pedophiles have a sexual attraction to children whereas child molesters have actually molested a child, regardless of the reason. This has a lot of practicality for a clinician because I learned also about how a clinician who finds out a client is a pedophile is mandated to report it, even if the person has never acted on it and seriously wants to get help. This made me really disappointed and shows how much more people need to be educated and willing to work with people about taboo matters.
I also found it really interesting that all adults who are attracted to children are said to be pedophiles, even though there are different terms for attractions to different age groups. this kind of reminds me of how people commonly refer to the vulva as the vagina. It also screams a lack of education.
Something I particularly found helpful that this group touched on was the idea that even though there are all of these disorders, they are based on the "norm", which is based on something very private and is about what we cannot see behind closed doors. This is something I have been trying to decide how I feel about all semester in terms of whether I really think these sexual disorders are disorders at all, or rather just trying to pathologise the things that make people feel good when they are in private. If they are not hurting someone else, who is to say it is abnormal or a problem?
Lastly, I loved how much this group incorporated brain studies into their research because I love the brain and the mind and how they connect and affect each other. It was fascinating to me to read about how child molesters have differences in their brains, and was a great way for me to take a biopsychosocial perspective in looking at paraphilias.
In thinking about my approach to these topics of a therapist, it is so important for me to confront my biases and keep in mind that these are people who want to experience pleasure and good feelings just like everyone else, but simply go about it differently. Also, if someone comes to therapy for a problem like this they are at least admitting they are open to change so that in itself speaks volumes and should be a reason for a therapist to embrace the person's problem as something that they can handle.
I also found it really interesting that all adults who are attracted to children are said to be pedophiles, even though there are different terms for attractions to different age groups. this kind of reminds me of how people commonly refer to the vulva as the vagina. It also screams a lack of education.
Something I particularly found helpful that this group touched on was the idea that even though there are all of these disorders, they are based on the "norm", which is based on something very private and is about what we cannot see behind closed doors. This is something I have been trying to decide how I feel about all semester in terms of whether I really think these sexual disorders are disorders at all, or rather just trying to pathologise the things that make people feel good when they are in private. If they are not hurting someone else, who is to say it is abnormal or a problem?
Lastly, I loved how much this group incorporated brain studies into their research because I love the brain and the mind and how they connect and affect each other. It was fascinating to me to read about how child molesters have differences in their brains, and was a great way for me to take a biopsychosocial perspective in looking at paraphilias.
In thinking about my approach to these topics of a therapist, it is so important for me to confront my biases and keep in mind that these are people who want to experience pleasure and good feelings just like everyone else, but simply go about it differently. Also, if someone comes to therapy for a problem like this they are at least admitting they are open to change so that in itself speaks volumes and should be a reason for a therapist to embrace the person's problem as something that they can handle.
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